Growing Up Sina by Natasha Ria El-Scari

Author:Natasha Ria El-Scari
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: African American women, Black women, black love, African American girlhood, coming of age, black girl magic
Publisher: Natasha Ria El-Scari
Published: 2020-03-23T00:00:00+00:00

Pappy challenged Sina to shots after the lay in quiet while games shows yelled out the TV.

“In a minute Pappy,” Sina said as she moved to the kitchen.

“Grandmother Dear, you never seen to stop do you?” she said with ease.

“Baby, you betta learn dis soon, you kin stop when ya’ dead,” Sina moved in slow motion as her grandmother wiped the same vinyl place mats Sina ate her summer sausage and eggs on for many years before.

Chapter 29

the garage

Then she hated being back there too. People tried to make her feel dumb when she wasn’t. They were family but didn’t know her at all. They had such poor communication when everyone was awake, so night was better. It held the secrets in the air longer than the fog, it gave them a chance to watch the words dissipate as they experienced lingering feelings.

“I’ll miss you,” Sina broke the silence.

“You always say dat”, he sounded pleased.

“I always do”, she agreed. Her brief answer implied sincerity and with a shoulder sigh, timeless familiarity.

“Do good, I’m proud of ya”, his voice sounded milky.

“I love you but I want you to change,” she replied with scold, ignoring the compliment. She hated how soft his hands were, they felt like hers and none of it matched him. Before they could hear the words they felt the troops approaching. Their time would be cut short, soon, again, for night was darker, and darkness always prompted questions with the family. The garage was stale, the conversation stagnant but emerging in the night air would only make the guards of her “virginity” have tighter security. So they just stood there, one hand held into the other. What was there to lose really, why not just complete the circle? But that was never how they looked at their love, maybe other love but never their love.

Surprisingly aimed and focused she turned and moved towards him. Her heart was heavy like the time they ran from the pit bull. She remembered his hand, it was strong. It dragged her as she clung her toes to her gripless, cheap, huarache sandals and ran for her life from the dog. They knew it was going to get them but she was with him, so though afraid, she floated away from the socket that burned from being dragged. Sina had not run that fast in a long time, so keeping up with her arm was a challenge. They got away from the dog but could not get away from each other, in this garage embrace, two worlds, joined by one hand in another.

“Is she really moving towards me,” he thought? In the past she would just run from his love when it got too deep, yet hers was always deep, his was cloaked in fearless facade. Now they were meeting at the bottom of the lake with the undercurrent pressure in both their heads. She leaned into him and he stood lifeless, his sad eyes preparing for her joy. Her lips fell onto his like she was falling, her body still at a distance.

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